This blog post was specifically dedicated to my cousin.
I honestly hope you can learn something from this post and solve your problem once and for all.
If you need someone to talk to,I'm always here(:
"I’m that friend that has to walk behind the group because the path isn’t wide enough.
I’m that friend who gets cut off in conversation.
I’m the friend who gets left behind when I asked for them to wait for me.
I’m that friend that doesn’t get asked to hang out a lot.
I’m that friend that if I want to go to the mall or some place with a friend, I have to be the one to invite people to make sure I get included.
I’ll always be that friend."
First off,why are you even mixing with people who don't even appreciate your presence as a human being? Is it so that you won't look like you are a loner? What's wrong with being alone?
Think about it,it is okay to be alone.I spend most of my time alone in school and I basically have no friends and despite that,I'm perfectly fine.
You don't need friends to show that you aren't a loner.What's the point of forcing yourself to mix with a bunch of people that can't even show you respect?
To me,its just a waste of your time.
Look,I'm not trying to say that making friends is evil and bad and should be avoided at all costs.But the friends that you have described are the type that are called 'Friends-By-Name-only" and there is a reason for this.
They are seem to be never there when you need them,they are always treating you like an extra burden and they only come to you when they need something.Now,this kind of friends will not remain loyal to you.It will only make you feel even more like an outsider of you continue to be friends with them.I seriously see absolutely no point in making friends with these kind of people.
"See, right now, in my class, everybody has their own cliques. I used to be in one too, 6 of us. But then another person came along, and I became the third wheel, I guess I wasn’t quite interesting enough. I was replaced. 6 became 7, then went back to 6."
See,this are the friends that this kind of situations occur the most.It doesn't matter if you are in a clique or not.All that matters is that you remain true to who you are.Don't bother changing yourself for that sake of people who don't appreciate you efforts.You are perfectly fine the way you are.Don't worry about it.
"Someone walked up to me once and told me to my face, with no intention of being offensive, that I was just being too clingy. And it’s true. I would follow the group, always seeking to join in the conversation, even long after they tired of me. Anything I said was like smoke in the breeze, blown away by everything else around it. I looked back and went,
yeah, that was really clingy."
As I said before,don't change yourself for the sake of pleasing others.There are other people who are way better and will respect and appreciate you for who you are not what you are.
"After that I sort of isolated myself. I ate alone, waited out lunch breaks alone at what I like to think of as my haunt, read alone, do things alone. But there always are instances where you just have to be in a group. Take group project for example. I used to ask for the teacher to let us choose our own groups, then head straight for the same people, because I had no one else I knew well enough to go to. My fault for not getting to know a wider range of people. But now, getting into groups is painful for me."
I know that it is not easy to make new friends.And it is good that you are not going with the previous group.
Group projects...Ughhh...The burden of working with people you are not close with at all...
For me personally because I'm always alone, I tend to request my teacher that I do the project alone.If it cannot be avoided,I will just join any of the group that is willing to take me in.Or the group that my teacher puts me in.
"I’ll just stand there awkwardly, wondering who to go to for fear of being seen as clingy again. I mean, I can’t keep going to the same group. Everyone else has their own groups and are all happily full. No more room for another stray. I might ask around to join here and there but most of the time they’re just waiting for another specific person to join them. At this point usually the teacher intervenes and places me in some group, and I can never meet their eyes, because I’m just someone unwanted who got dumped on them."
This is actually an opportunity to make new friends.You see,you get placed into a group by the teacher.Why not make some new friends while you're at it?You will never know,maybe they will share the same interests as you.
This is from past experience,if you keep quiet and sit there to space out,trust me,people will be thinking that you hate them and such.
Trust me, alot of people thought that my emotionless face was annoying because they thought I was trying to be rebellious and such.But in reality,I was just clueless on what and how to respond to them.
"I’d much rather have the groups allocated. That way nothing in the groupings will be based on friendship and biasness. Everything is just black and white, we were chosen, so here we are."
True,this is a much more fair way of solving the problem.But,try mixing with other people.It is good to expose yourself to new people.
"I just want to start again. Maybe I can, and I seriously hope I succeed in making myself less of a social outcast."
Good that you want to start again.Seeing that you have the motivation to do it,why not right? Go and try making new friends in your class,that's a good start.
"I think I just need someone to talk it out to, some advice. I don’t want people telling me that,
oh its just another phase everyone gets, you’ll get over it. Because to me, that doesn’t help things. I want to know what I can do, not empty reassurances."
Then here is your advice,read through this post properly and think about it.
You are not the only one who is going through this.Honestly,I'm in this situation too.Or was.
So here is the advice you asked for,whether or not you take my advice is up to you.
I wish you all the best(:
