(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

School is about to end and close up the year for studying and education.

 I have already taken my exams, however, I had missed two days of examinations due to constant vomiting ; food poisoning.


I was never a happy experience. Getting up in the middle of the night to get hunched over the toilet hurl your insides out. Never a fantastic sight or smell.


During that period of two days, my appetite was absolutely crap and my body clock was already long thrown out of the window. After taking medication on the first day, I somehow manage to vomit it out.

ಥ_ಥ  ಥ_ಥ  ಥ_ಥ

Barely getting enough sleep, even with medication. Getting sick like this especially during the exam period is definitely a suicide mission for my case.

(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

I'm back in school feeling much better already. However, I was not allowed to re-take the exams that I missed out on even with a doctor's medical certificate. The exams that I missed results would either be pro rated or just VR. As the school wanted to follow the N -level way.


This is not good for my case as they would take my CA2 results which I completely screwed up badly. And because of this, may have to repeat the year.


I honestly did not ask to fall sick on the days of the examinations.


I extremely worried about what will happen in the near future. I do not want to burden my parents any further with having to pay another year of my education fees. They already have more than enough to worry about.

Weight Problems

I'm going to be talking about a topic that I have always thought would be extremely subjective and sensitive to some people, Weight.

I was always been considered to be 'chubby' and only being up to about 151 cm, it does make me look a lot fatter and shorter than the other girls. Of course I have tried to lose weight but it never seem to have last a long period of time.

I had even resorted to starving myself to become 'skinner'. Honestly, please don't do this to yourself. It will only make your body a lot worse than it already is. Seek guidance from a trustable adult.

There are methods to losing weight without having to starve yourself.

Having a good diet plan is a good way to start out and also having a work out schedule can help.

Looking back now, I realized that all of those did not matter at all.

Your weight does not  represent your worth. Remember that.

Your personality has power to uplift, power to depress, power to curse, and power to bless.

You are who you are and who you make yourself to be.

Your weight does not matter. It is what's on the inside that counts. Your personality should attract people to stay , not your looks.

Your body is not the problem.

Stay Beautiful.

Happy Birthday~!

Today is a day to celebrate your birthday, but on this very special day I want you to know how much I appreciate our friendship.
Only a true friend would be that honest.

True friends are like diamonds – bright, beautiful, valuable, and always in style.

I really had a fun time when I went to Vivo City with my closest friend.

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.
I'm really blessed to have her in my life.

Thanks for listening to my rants and going out with me to eat and going shopping together.

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it.

Even though we are not in the same class anymore, a really huge thanks for making the time and effort to still manage to go out after school and such.

You are finally fifteen.

Forget the past; look forward to the future, for the best things are yet to come.

My best friend deserves the best birthday in the world, and my goal is to give it to you. Happy Birthday, and get ready to celebrate! The party starts as soon as we’re together.

Problem Solved : Crush Problems

Look who's back~

Okay...

So my finals are coming soon and I'm wasting my time on the internet again *sighs*

I haven't even started my layout designs for my art work...

I got another short problem to give advice to today.

If you need someone to talk to or you just want to rant or ask for advice you can contact me (links in the description)

Let's begin~

I just walked back to my school after lunch and walked past a group of guys(same school, but I don't know them) and my crush. I just walked right past and avoided his gaze(and walked up a mini slope to avoid him when he walked towards the side I was on) and heard one the the random guys saying, "Ooh, she's avoiding you." Damn. I suspect they know about everything. And that's bad. Real bad. It's not the first time I've had guys I don't know(i suspect it's the same people) calling out my name whenever I walk past(and my crush is always with them).

Thanks for telling me this.

It must have took alot of courage to be strong when constantly disturbed and made fun of about this matter.

If you really cannot handle the fact that people are talking behind your back and making fun of you, I highly suggest that you talk to a trusted adult or teacher about this matter.


I'm sorry to break this to you but I suspect that your crush had already told them about your confession. I'm only basing this on the fact that they are people (Well mostly guys...) making fun of you.

Based on experience, the guy would try to 'brag' that a girl he didn't like confessed to him. He won't only say this to his clique but to other people as well to show that he is 'popular' or 'cooler' than the others.

Imagine, a boy you didn't like confessing to you. You would definitely tell your other friends about this matter and laugh it off as a joke am I right?

Remember that "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving " - Albert Einstein.

When you are going through hell, keep on going. Never never never give up. This guy is nothing compared to you. You have so much time to sharpen your skills and academic results.However, you are focusing on this guy again.

Remember what I said in my previous post when I said about crushes.

If you are planning on confessing to your crush in the future, think about it wisely before doing it. You can do whatever you wish I'm not going to stop you.

However, I personally will not confess despite how much I like the guy unless the feelings are mutual between the both of us.

Thanks for coming to me and asking for advice.

I hope you take into consideration about what I say.
 

Review : Ao Haru Ride

Status: Completed

Episodes:12/12

Admin's rating: 8/10


Synopsis:

Yoshioka Futaba has a few reasons why she wants to "reset" her image and life as a new high school student. Because she's cute, she was ostracized by her female friends in junior high, and because of a misunderstanding, she couldn't get her feeling across to the one boy she has ever liked, Tanaka-kun.

Now in high school, she is determined to be as unladylike as possible so that her friends won't be jealous of her. While living her life this way contentedly, she meets Tanaka-kun again, but he now goes under the name of Mabuchi Kou. He tells her that he felt the same way as she did when they were younger, but now things can never be the same again. Will Futaba be able to continue her love that never even started from three years ago?

What I like about Ao Haru Ride:

I enjoyed the art style of this anime.The art was very much perfect for the story.
The story all felt very realistic and the extremely good portrayal with me being able to relate to some parts.

"I'm [not] Fine" "I'm [not] Okay"

"I'm Fine"

"I'm okay"

I hate pretending that "I'm okay" or "I'm Fine".But it is one way of showing people that I'm strong even though everything just tears me apart.

“At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life”

Some people were just meant to give you a lesson, in the end  they will just past into your life sometimes the memories will always be in your heart.

I'm scared to tell people how much it hurts, so I keep it all to myself...

“Some of the most painful scars: the ones that hurt the most are the scars that can’t be seen”

Scars that can’t be seen are the scars that wounded our hearts. It may be healed but the mark of the pain will always stay.

"Every time people ask me if I’m okay, it’s just a reminder that I’m not”

Sometimes, we keep on telling ourselves that we’re okay and we live on it, however if someone would ask you this question it would make you think and realize that you’re not okay.

"I’m busy saving everybody else when I can’t even save myself”

Sometimes, I always think of the feelings of other people and what will be good for them without thinking about myself.

I just wanna feel okay again...

Sorry for ranting about my problems....

New Theme + Why I Have Not Updated

As you guys probably have noticed that I changed the blog's theme from Pastel Galaxy to Alice in Wonderland.

Even the music bar and the blog's URL changed.

I honestly really love the new theme and I hope that I would not have to change it so soon.

So...

Welcome To Wonderland!

~

I have not been updating regularly as I have been trying to focus on my studies (I'm a huge procrastinator) But now I'll try to make more time to blog and go online on social media.

There will definitely be more anime reviews that you guys can look forward to.

Problem Solved:There is nothing wrong with being alone

This blog post was specifically dedicated to my cousin.


I honestly hope you can learn something from this post and solve your problem once and for all.
If you need someone to talk to,I'm always here(:

"I’m that friend that has to walk behind the group because the path isn’t wide enough.

I’m that friend who gets cut off in conversation.

I’m the friend who gets left behind when I asked for them to wait for me.

I’m that friend that doesn’t get asked to hang out a lot.

I’m that friend that if I want to go to the mall or some place with a friend, I have to be the one to invite people to make sure I get included.

I’ll always be that friend."

First off,why are you even mixing with people who don't even appreciate your presence as a human being? Is it so that you won't look like you are a loner? What's wrong with being alone?

Think about it,it is okay to be alone.I spend most of my time alone in school and I basically have no friends and despite that,I'm perfectly fine.

You don't need friends to show that you aren't a loner.What's the point of forcing yourself to mix with a bunch of people that can't even show you respect?
To me,its just a waste of your time.

Look,I'm not trying to say that making friends is evil and bad and should be avoided at all costs.But the friends that you have described are the type that are called 'Friends-By-Name-only" and there is a reason for this.

They are seem to be never there when you need them,they are always treating you like an extra burden and they only come to you when they need something.Now,this kind of friends will not remain loyal to you.It will only make you feel even more like an outsider of you continue to be friends with them.I seriously see absolutely no point in making friends with these kind of people.


"See, right now, in my class, everybody has their own cliques. I used to be in one too, 6 of us. But then another person came along, and I became the third wheel, I guess I wasn’t quite interesting enough. I was replaced. 6 became 7, then went back to 6."

See,this are the friends that this kind of situations occur the most.It doesn't matter if you are in a clique or not.All that matters is that you remain true to who you are.Don't bother changing yourself for that sake of people who don't appreciate you efforts.You are perfectly fine the way you are.Don't worry about it.

"Someone walked up to me once and told me to my face, with no intention of being offensive, that I was just being too clingy. And it’s true. I would follow the group, always seeking to join in the conversation, even long after they tired of me. Anything I said was like smoke in the breeze, blown away by everything else around it. I looked back and went, yeah, that was really clingy."

As I said before,don't change yourself for the sake of pleasing others.There are other people who are way better and will respect and appreciate you for who you are not what you are.

"After that I sort of isolated myself. I ate alone, waited out lunch breaks alone at what I like to think of as my haunt, read alone, do things alone. But there always are instances where you just have to be in a group. Take group project for example. I used to ask for the teacher to let us choose our own groups, then head straight for the same people, because I had no one else I knew well enough to go to. My fault for not getting to know a wider range of people. But now, getting into groups is painful for me."

I know that it is not easy to make new friends.And it is good that you are not going with the previous group.

Group projects...Ughhh...The burden of working with people you are not close with at all...

For me personally because I'm always alone, I tend to request my teacher that I do the project alone.If it cannot be avoided,I will just join any of the group that is willing to take me in.Or the group that my teacher puts me in.

"I’ll just stand there awkwardly, wondering who to go to for fear of being seen as clingy again. I mean, I can’t keep going to the same group. Everyone else has their own groups and are all happily full. No more room for another stray. I might ask around to join here and there but most of the time they’re just waiting for another specific person to join them. At this point usually the teacher intervenes and places me in some group, and I can never meet their eyes, because I’m just someone unwanted who got dumped on them."

This is actually an opportunity to make new friends.You see,you get placed into a group by the teacher.Why not make some new friends while you're at it?You will never know,maybe they will share the same interests as you.

This is from past experience,if you keep quiet and sit there to space out,trust me,people will be thinking that you hate them and such.

Trust me, alot of people thought that my emotionless face was annoying because they thought I was trying to be rebellious and such.But in reality,I was just clueless on what and how to respond to them.

"I’d much rather have the groups allocated. That way nothing in the groupings will be based on friendship and biasness. Everything is just black and white, we were chosen, so here we are."

True,this is a much more fair way of solving the problem.But,try mixing with other people.It is good to expose yourself to new people.

"I just want to start again. Maybe I can, and I seriously hope I succeed in making myself less of a social outcast."

Good that you want to start again.Seeing that you have the motivation to do it,why not right? Go and try making new friends in your class,that's a good start.


"I think I just need someone to talk it out to, some advice. I don’t want people telling me that, oh its just another phase everyone gets, you’ll get over it. Because to me, that doesn’t help things. I want to know what I can do, not empty reassurances."


Then here is your advice,read through this post properly and think about it.

You are not the only one who is going through this.Honestly,I'm in this situation too.Or was.
So here is the advice you asked for,whether or not you take my advice is up to you.

I wish you all the best(:

Review : Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom)

Status: Completed

Episodes:22/22

Admin's rating: 9/10


Synopsis:
A humorous and action-packed story about a class of misfits who are trying to kill their new teacher—an alien octopus with bizarre powers and super strength! The teacher has just destroyed the moon and is threatening to destroy the earth—unless his students can destroy him first. What makes things more complicated is that he's the best teacher they've ever had!

What I like about Ansatsu Kyoushitsu (Assassination Classroom):
I love how it has an original storyline.The animation was unique and it was what had caught my attention to watch this anime and it was a very brightly done style.
I also loved the comedy(this may/may not suit your liking,depending on your taste in comedy).

To sum up:
I will definitely recommend this anime.There are many memorable characters and you can't seem to hate Class-E. There is alot of things to love about this anime so I will recommend you to watch it

Tuition

So currently, I'm forced to attend tuition for Maths and personally I've had my fair share of bad experiences during tuition when I was in kindergarten (I took Math and Phonics )

I attended my second lesson today and it really didn't seem that bad.

In tuition when I was in kindergarten,I remember hating it because my tuition teacher would scold me for using fingers to count during Maths and I always ended up crying in class.

I never really liked the teacher as she was really strict on me and I would never seem to understand what she was trying to explain.I honestly found it really pressuring from all the scoldings and I had a hard time focusing when there was other people in the class.

Now,my tuition is a one-on-one type which is much easier for me as I learn much better that way then in a group.It doesn't really distract me and I find it alot more efficient than having tuition in a class.

I really hope that my Maths results will get pulled up because I am sick and tired of failing that subject every single year.

The teacher explains to me whatever I can't seem to understand with patience,something that I find really important when teaching me.

So,yeah.I really hope that my overall results will get pulled up by the end of the year.

Q&A~!

These are some of the questions that I get asked frequently and some of them are taken from my ask.fm :)


Leggo~

Q) How tall are you?
   -149cm

Q)What do I do during my past time?
-I usually do sketching and writing lyrics

Q)What Video games do you play?
-I do play a lot of games my favourite so far would be Assassin Creed.

Q)Do you usually go out with your friends?
-Not really,I'm more of a stay at home kid

Q)What is your usual hair routine?
-Wash,condition and do a bit of hair treatment if my hair is too dry

Q)Do you participate in online lucky draws?
-Nope.

Q)Do you live stream some games that you play on Twitch?
-Nope,but if there are people willing to watch me play I might consider.

Q)If there was a chance for you to participate as a team on a game, will you participate at the USA?
-Yes if the game interest me.

Q)Favourite colour?
-Sky blue and Black

Q)Do you currently have a crush?
-Yes

Stress about Maths Mid-Year Exam Results

As the Mid-year's are just over, I didn't do that fantastic for some of my subjects.

Especially Math....

The amazing thing was that only 7 people in my class passed.And 6 people from the other class,total 13 people passed out of the entire Sec 3 Na cohort

Yes.Just a 'pass'.

I'm feeling really disappointed about the fact that I wasn't able to do that well for that subject...

It really dampens my mood whenever I think about it.There is always this pang of regret that I feel...

But there are no excuses for me...I just wasn't that prepared for the exams.

They tested on things we learned when we were in Secondary 1&2 and it was really foolish of me to not browse through my lower secondary math notebook to revise through my work before taking the exams...

Well , I learned that the hard way....

I just can't bring myself relax....My class didn't do that fantastic but my dad does not care if the whole class failed the Math paper.He wants me to do well,not just get a passing grade if not there are consequences...

My dad doesn't want me to fail.I know he means well.Math is essential for the promotion to Secondary 4.Failing math means a possibility of retaining.I really don't want to retain because of math.I know if I keep this up I will really retain.

My Dad's bad mood + My really crappy results = My death

Review: Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji

Status: Completed

Episodes: 12/12

Admin's Rating: 8/10


Sypnosis:

The story centers around Erika Shinohara, a vain 16-year-old girl who tells her friends about her romantic exploits, but she actually has no boyfriend. She claims that a handsome boy in a candid photo is her boyfriend, but it turns out that boy is a schoolmate named Kyouya Sata. She has no choice but to make him her fake boyfriend. Unfortunately, Sata may look like a sweet person, but he is actually an ultra-black-hearted sadist. Sata takes advantage of Erika's weakness and treats her like his dog.


What I like about Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji :

Erika gets herself into a bit of a mess due to her compulsion to lie to gain friends, and this and that happens and she winds up with a frankly abhorrent guy who is essentially her 'owner'. A simple concept for a romance anime relatively well-executed, especially in the comedy aspect.

To sum up:

I couldn't enjoy this series as much as I would have liked simply because I felt it was quite slow to get started.This is a good shoujo anime,but this is certainly is not for everyone.

Review: Death Parade

Status: Completed

Episodes:12/12

Admin's Rating 9/10

Synopsis:

After death, humans are either sent to the void or reincarnated. But for some, at the instant of their death, they arrive at Quindecim, a bar attended by the mysterious white-haired Decim. He challenges them to the Death Game, wherein they wager their lives and reveal their true natures. Decim himself is the ultimate arbitrator of who wins and who loses, who will go to the void, and who will be reincarnated.
*Taken from MyAnimeList.Net

What I like about the Death Parade:

They emphasise on the concept of Death and expanding it into a game style format.Death Parade draws in my initial interest by the fact that they are like playing with Life and Death.The characters were also well developed and their personalities are eye catching.There will be new characters in every episode,which is refreshing all the characters have different personalities and different ways that they have died.The opening is also really catchy;Bradio by Flyers.

 

To sum up:

Death Parade is an anime that I would really recommend.It will not disappoint you.There are some episodes that may leave you with a mystery but overall it is an anime that cannot be missed!

I have feelings too

I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to draw, to love and to be so human.

One day you'll look back and realize how you treated me and maybe, if you finally grew up you might actually feel bad about it.It really surprises me the hateful things people say on the internet...After all the awareness of cyber-bullying...I mean wow. So sad.

She's tired of being broken. She's tired of being misunderstood. She's tired of being bullied. But one thing she isn't tired of is being herself.

When will people begin to see that hurting someone does not make you a bigger person it just makes you a weaker link.

Drama is Drama. bullying is bullying. No matter what reasons people do it for, it will usually be out of self-interest or for their own enjoyment.

Everyone's a hypocrite, you're all cyber bullying each other, it's all fun and games till someone commits suicide.

You think suicide is cowardly? I'll tell you what's cowardly. Hurting someone so much that they think ending their lives is the only way to make it better.

Jealousy

Jealousy is when you count someone elses blessings instead of your own.Don't waste time on jealousy.Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.

It’s sad how some people are so jealous and intimidated by you that they only have negative things to say when they know absolutely nothing about you.

There is no need to be  jealous of others. What's for you and what they have wouldn't fit you anyway. Be thankful for all you have and know that all you desire is on the way.

What's the point of spending your precious time trying to make someone jealous? Chances are if you have to try that hard,they don't care.Purposely trying to make someone jealous just makes you look stupid.

Insecure people tend to be  jealous more so than people who arent insecure.

Jealousy:
– a sign of insecurity
– a sign of weakness
– a sign of obsession

“Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.”  ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Jealousy only eats up your beauty. Have more faith in yourself, you got something that other people don’t.

Gossip

Don't go and talk about each other. Come and talk to each other.Words spread because words will spread. Stories and secrets fight, stories win, shed new secrets, which new stories fight, and on.

 

Never believe on everything you hear always keep an open mind, and an open heart.Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.

 

Never trust someone who will just get up and tell you another person's story or secrets, because they'll share yours just the same.Sometimes people will talk about you when they envy the life you lead. Let them be. You affected their life; don't let them affect yours.

 

No matter what you do, someone will always talk about you. Someone will always question your judgement. So just smile and make choices you can live with.

 

“These are the few ways we can practice humility:

To speak as little as possible of one's self.

To mind one's own business.

Not to want to manage other people's affairs.

To avoid curiosity.

To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.

To pass over the mistakes of others.

To accept insults and injuries.

To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.

To be kind and gentle even under provocation.

Never to stand on one's dignity.

To choose always the hardest.”  ― Mother Teresa, The Joy in Loving: A Guide to Daily Living

 

People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.

Concentrate on fixing yourself rather than wasting time gossiping of others.

 

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.Gossip is called gossip because it’s not always the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

Crush

When you love someone and they don't love you back, it's hard to find a way to keep yourself on track. It leaves you broken hearted and hurts so much. I guess that's why they call it a crush.

I want to be the reason behind your smile because youre the reason behind mine...Should I smile because we're friends? Or cry because that's all we'll ever be....

"Crushing on someone who doesn't love you back is like chocolate. You know it's not good for you but you just can't get enough.." I guess this is true...

I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I found no rejection, I choose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams no one owns you but me.

Liking someone doesn't mean you have to be lovers sometimes you just have to be friends.Relationships start off by being friends right? Sometimes, the more you hide your feelings for someone, the more you fall for them.No?

A person may be in love with someone until the end of time, but if that person doesn't tell their feelings of love, it will just be another person living a dream . . . a loss of true love.

"Watching your crush , hoping something would come between you. Just hoping that a miracle will happen. It happen, your just not in it. Your just a bystander, watching them walk away in hands. Wishing that was you." Doesn't this always happen? Doesn't it hurt..?

Being secretly in love with someone is the hardest feeling..... You get hurt,you get jealous, you cry and you get broken...but the saddest part is he doesn't know about it....

Fake Friends

Its so funny how friends forget us when they don't need any more favors.Isn't it irritating?

We fear our enemy, but the bigger and real fear is that of a fake friend who is sweetest to your face and most vile behind your back.No?

 

I'm so tired of :

1. Fake friends

2. Drama

3. Liars

4. Being ignored

5. Getting hurt

 

I guess being fake in life is going to attract you fake reactions, fake crap, and fake friends. Just be real with yourself and others and things will be fine.And it's sad how quickly people can forget about you until they want something from you.

 

I'd rather have an enemy who says that they hate me, than to keep a friend whose mission is to put me down secretly.

True enough,if you hate me,stay away from me.Don't come up to me and be my friend for the sake of it.

 

When shit goes down and sides are taken, you find out who was real and who was faking.Some people don't catch on, they rather just pretend, while things are going smooth, they smile and call you 'friend'. Funny how you never know who cares until it hurts, and when it's over, does it matter who blew off who first?

 

What is it like to become what you once despised? What is it like to pile lies on top of lies?

 

Sometimes growing up means growing a p a r t.